Being a project manager for more than 10 years, I have made planning engraved in my bones. Even for sabbatical time, I have made a thorough plan to ensure that I will use the time “wisely” and not “waste” it. The plan is hour to hour and no difference from my daily schedule when I worked in office. I thought that being a freelancer, I would have more control over my time.

But in the second month of sabbatical, I completely surrender to the impermanence of life, and turn to learn more about dance with the flow.

I am working as life coach during my sabbatical, and have made a business plan that I followed strictly. Business registration, social media operations, advanced trainings, self-promotions… I already talked to many clients in the first month and 2 of them found me in internet! I was quite proud of what I have achieved in the first month, and felt happy that I followed my plan strictly.

It started with the dead of my grandma. She was almost 97 but had always been very healthy. It was a very sudden news that she passed away on a Saturday morning. It was lucky for me that I could just bought the fly ticket the same day and went back to participate the funeral and give supports to my families. I took my laptop with me and wished I could work in China, but I didn’t even turn if on once. I was 100% present with my family, and I appreciate that I did so. Being away from families since 14 years, it was a very precise experience that I could be with them at the difficult time. We talked so many things about my grandma when she was young, the last days when she was in bed, and we smiled at the old pictures when packing her relics. I realize that I was not there to support my families, but to fulfill the needs of my heart.

I started my trip TMB (Tour du Mont Blanc) the very next day after I flew back to Germany. I met and got inspired by different people in the tour, and one of the most inspiring story is from a 60+ years old man, I call him uncle Chen. Uncle Chen grew up in the nature and loves the nature, his job was to build the signal stations in the mountains, which gave him a strong body and a lot of experiences in the forests. His dream was to climb the Everest, until about 10 years ago when he had a serious illness and lived in the hospital for more than a year. He has to take anti-rejection drugs 2 times a day after the big operation, but it doesn’t stop him doing what he loves. He is now so energetic, optimistic, open and free. Uncle Chen said he may not be able to climb Everest due to his body condition, but he will hike wherever his body allows him, and enjoy every trip he takes. I saw hopes and fires in his eyes, they are so contagious.

One of my mentors told me that I was too harsh on myself. I didn’t get what he meant at that time. Now I think I know. Life is impermanence, no matter how well you plan, how hard you work, how strict you manage yourself, surprises will come. When things are not coming as you expected, it is not because that you are not working hard enough.

Life is just like this. Trust yourself and dance with the flow.